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Tick Tary Tanner: Back From The Dead With a Message to Faerún

Tick Tary Tanner is alive and well.

In a shocking turn of events, Tick Tary Tanner revealed himself today as having escaped the assasination carried out by Thay. Looking a bit haggard and with a coat of warpaint on his face, he sounded a bukkehorn, then launched into a speech and gnomish battlecry to inspire all there and to renew efforts against Thay. There was a great deal of shouting, cheering, and several of his close acquaintances rushed to greet him as he spoke.

For the protection of the individuals and organizations gathered there, quotations and names will be withheld.

After the celebration had died down from his initial appearance, he presented our Thunderquill contact with a personally-penned letter addressed to the “Heroes of Faerún”, which follows:

I’m back.

I return with a heavy heart. I failed you. I failed to unite the factions. We sent a fractured army against a powerful nation. The battlefield was one I did not choose or intend, and thousands of innocent people died as a direct result of my actions. I will carry that weight every day until my last.

I died in the crowded streets of Hillsfar at the hands of Thayan assassins. ‘Tis true. But I had a clone hidden deep within the High Forest, ready for me. However, Szass Tam was able to block any such clever magic on my part. My dear companion Driftwood actually journeyed into the Nine Hells, fought Zariel, and persuaded Asmodeus to free my soul from Szass Tam’s prison. It is Driftwood’s story to tell, but I am forever grateful.

I know other adventurers have also fought on my behalf—each wish and divine intervention was a petition to the higher powers to show me mercy. Nothing was wasted. Shiallia embraced me, protected me, and with a kiss, brought me back into the world, new body and all.

Upon my return, I used mind blank and other powerful spells to hide my whereabouts. I figured my friends and foes alike would put the odds of me cheating my death at about half-by-half. I fled to Candlekeep. The followers of Oghma kept me safely hidden in the sanctuary of their vast library for the better part of a year. While there, I studied everything I possibly could about Szass Tam, the Red Wizards, and the Thayans, confident that knowledge would be our greatest asset. Afterward, I left Candlekeep and journeyed south to Chult—in disguise, I was able to track down more Red Wizards, including Szass Tam, during the assault on Port Nyanzaru. I dropped not one, but two meteor swarms on the bastard. Oh, believe me, I let Szass Tam know I’ve returned.

My exploration led me further into the jungles, where I encountered more Thayan schemes and the unspeakable horrors of Elder Evils. No doubt, some of you have similar stories. They tend to follow us, don’t they?

And now, if you will have me, if you can possibly forgive my failures and my subterfuge, I would like to be included among you. No more wandering. No more hiding. I am Emerald Enclave. I am Verdantium. I stand in defiance of Szass Tam and all of Thay. If they kill me again, I will come back again and again—until fate decides otherwise. The war is not over. But we cannot afford another loss.

We have much to discuss.

Tick Tary Tanner

There will undoubtedly be a response from the Thayans in the coming days, as well as reactions from adventurers all around Faerún. There were whispers at the event of increased aggression against Thay and of a “Verdantium” that Tick mentioned in his address.

As more news comes in, we’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Out of Character

Tick Tary Tanner has his very own certificate detailing his dastardly deeds: I Got Better – Tick Tary Tanner, Archmage of the High Forest and Instigator of Anti-Thay Activities

7 Comments

  1. Fineva September 2, 2018

    How clever, it ratifies statements about clones anyway.
    Tick is sorry, great, maybe he and the rest would like to recover the innocents from hell also?
    This is a prime example of why newly made arcanists without a smudge of wisdom should be licensed.
    Larloch, Elminster and elder evils have been locked in combat before the gnomes could speak!

    The Netheril Diaspora let others fight the Shadovar, for if the diaspora had fought the world would be notified. Imagine why the undermountain in Waterdeep is so deadly and successes like Durnan say nothing! The Netherese are among us, and making a deal with them should always precede violence.

    The very Gods created your enclaves, but did anyone ask themselves why there were no signs? Just claims to power and hubris, imagined or real, the threats you saw weren’t dealt with by the terrible loss of life!

    I am also back, no longer a Harper, but a member of the only visible faction, Lords Alliance! I fight for the people, not for the egotistic cries of foolish bosses who led everyone so poorly.

    -Zora Fineva Alassra Silverhand of Orogoth
    Lords Alliance Stingblade
    For the People

  2. Sherinford Rothenel, Consulting Detective September 3, 2018

    I knew it! Of course he was alive. I listened to the news, rumors, and whispers, and it was the logical answer. It was elementary, really. He did it more or less as I would have.

    Congrats upon your return, T.T.T. I hope that the information you learned was worth your efforts.

    • Anonymous September 9, 2018

      He should have studied at Candlekeep first, then go to war. Not impressed with this terrorist.

  3. bill September 11, 2018

    I Zora Fineva Alassra Silverhand of Orogoth act alone in this.
    I call for the censure of Malkyn Fenris of the Harpers recent signatory to declarations of way against mulmaster.
    On light of the fact Thay won the war and demanded lists of Factions it is with extreme disquiet to find mage fenris (after handing such lists over )building and advertising “fort malkyn” with the avowed purpose of continuing the war.
    Tick Tanner has returned and not learned. Malkyn has not learned. When will these letter writers stop giving excuses to Thay?

    Zora Fineva

    • Fineva September 11, 2018

      What is this?
      I make no such assertions!
      The signature proves me out.

      Zora Fineva Alassra Silverhand of Orogoth
      Lords Alliance Stingblade
      For the People

  4. bill September 11, 2018

    I Zora Fineva Alassra Silverhand of Orogoth act alone in this.
    I call for the censure of Malkyn Fenris of the Harpers recent signatory to declarations of way against mulmaster.
    On light of the fact Thay won the war and demanded lists of Factions it is with extreme disquiet to find mage fenris (after handing such lists over )building and (rumor) advertising “fort malkyn” with the avowed purpose of continuing the war.
    Tick Tanner has returned and not learned. Malkyn has not learned. When will these letter writers stop giving excuses to Thay?

    Zora Fineva

    • Anonymous September 11, 2018

      What is this?
      I make no such assertions!
      The signature proves me out.

      Zora Fineva Alassra Silverhand of Orogoth
      Lords Alliance Stingblade
      For the People

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